GodLy PerFectiOn.

Set me free of my gilded cage

The cage in which I rage

when I don't receive my wage-

my dirty, undeserved wage.

Set me free, El Roi, 

"God who sees" all I do all day.

I dance and sing and perform my life away.

I seek glory in vain. 

I can do nothing without the power,

the dunamus

of your name.

Jesus, I'm ashamed 

of my behavior-

it's silliness, really. 

I do, I move only by the power of your grace

and expect a gift-

nicely packaged

with frills

and lace

for the things I do...by grace.

Grace I neither possess autonomously

or earned;

it was rendered me

without reason

by a God who saw me commit sin, openly - treason.

I win only because my sin

was laid on your back-

this fact I cannot bear, 

but I must.

Because I lust - I've lusted.

And I'm forgiven.

I'm rust- I've rusted.

And I'm repaired and living.

I'm alive in grace-

in the warmth of Jesus' resurrection.

How sweet, how succulent, 

is this taste, this Godly perfection.

This is my calling.

Jesus said: "So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have done only what was our duty.'" (Luke 17:10)

God created me in a specific way, to do specific things. Paul said, in Ephesians 2:10, "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." So, it's not as if I go over and above by loving my neighbor as myself. We were created to do these good works. Like a clock that ticks. Or a lamp that provides light. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 4:7, "For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?" No commendation necessary.

So why do I harbor such a sense of entitlement? Like the world, like GOD owes ME something? Me? He created me. I am me because of Him. Honestly, to what extent can I love my neighbor so that I am "beyond" loving and have reached the lofty heights of meriting the smallest utterance of praise. I can't. I can't love "beyond". I can just love. "Ruhama," Hosea tells us. "She has received mercy". Mercy to live and to love. And I can love and love and love until I feel I cannot love further and then He gives me the grace to love more. And I'm stunned. I sit back amazed. Think about it: GREATER LOVE, there is NONE BUT THIS - that a man lay down his life for his friend. And that's the end. That's the GREATEST LOVE. He calls his sons and his daughters to this - the greatest form of love. I must love my neighbor, period. It is my duty, my calling. If I fail, there is grace. If I succeed, praise God. Because praise is due to Him alone.

Moreover, John said, "a person cannot receive EVEN ONE THING unless it is given him from heaven" (John 3:27). And so, John said, Jesus must increase and he must decrease. John had no sense of entitlement. The word, the notion, was entirely foreign to him. 

Even Jesus said he can do nothing on his own. He sought not his own will, but the will of the one who sent him. Our dependence is, most definitely, a desperate one. However, when I turn from pride, when I tear my eyes from myself, His creation, and refocus them on Him, the Creator, I receive DESTINY -- "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent" (John 17:3); I receive DIGNITY -- "sanctify them in the truth, your word is truth" (John 17:17); and DUNAMUS or POWER -- "The glory that you have given to me I have given them, that they may be one even as we are one, i in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and LOVED THEM even as you love me" (John 17:22-23). 

I don't want to continue to be consumed with "me". I want to live as I was created to live. To fly to the heights I was created to soar to. To dream beyond the physical, the 5'2" stature, the flesh. Because Jesus Christ lives in me. And so I can. I can live as I was created to live, fly to the heights I was created to soar to, and dream beyond the stature, the mindset, the flesh that, at one time -- far away, in a distant land -- hindered me. 

God's Love. It's so big.

   God's love is more than a gift opened up on a single day. It's more than a trinket to be set on a shelf and forgotten as it collects millions of particles of dust. It's an actual experience.

   I often hinder myself in my walk with God because I stop at merely knowing he loves me. I act like that's it. "He loves me. I know this. Let's move on," I stupidly say.  But there's more. There is so much more. There's an experience beyond knowing I harbor the fullness of His steadfast love in my heart. I've been given the grace to LIVE in the fullness of this perfect love. I can breath it in; I can consume it - this love that stretches beyond, in comparison at least, such cold knowledge. 

   Still, I cheapen my very life by shortsighted thoughts like, "Why would I desire something I already possess?" The answer to this question lies in understanding the nature of such a possession. It's the fullness of God's steadfast, unhindered, satisfying, glorifying, lovely, beautiful, perfect love. Love is the one thing I possess that I can continue to desire, especially God's love. I can't experience something as great as the fullness of God's love in a single day. It's a relationship. It's something that will bring new life daily, if I let it. It's something that will continue to move and alter my being throughout the entirety of my life...and into eternity. 

   "I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he has inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live." (Psalm 116:1-2)

Grace and Peace,

Brit

Why did I create a blog?

   Why did I create a blog? Well, there are many answers to this question. In short, I want to be a real writer some day (I guess that makes me a fake one currently) and a blog seems like a good place to practice. It seems like a good place to do some intentional writing - some writing that, I hope, will be read by people. This will force me to try to write better than I do in my journal. With more structure. With more direction. We'll see how it goes.

   The other reason I'll post is this: I love Jesus. My thoughts revolve around this love. There have been days where I have felt so down and out and purposeless, so undignified, that I wonder how anyone without this soul saving love carries on. I couldn't. It's my refuge, my comfort; it's the food, the wine, the oxygen of my soul. I want to write about it. Maybe it'll comfort someone, somewhere, who's feeling down and out...purposeless. I'll try to keep the thoughts joyful and hopeful. And honest.

   I have a tattoo on my foot. It's a short saying in aramaic: "Talitha cumi". It means "Little girl, I say to you arise." Jesus said it to Jairus' twelve year-old daughter when he raised her from the dead. I was twelve when he raised me from the dead. I was twelve when I was told my purpose - to bring glory to Him. I was twelve when I was given dignity and identity - I'm a daughter of the King of Kings. How fantastic is that?

   "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:11-14)

   

Grace and Peace,

Brit